{"id":276,"date":"2019-11-20T02:31:28","date_gmt":"2019-11-20T02:31:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/?page_id=276"},"modified":"2019-12-08T12:57:27","modified_gmt":"2019-12-08T02:57:27","slug":"preparation-for-dying-a-checklist","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparation-for-dying-a-checklist\/","title":{"rendered":"A Checklist"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The following checklist presents matters to consider in preparation\nfor dying \u2013 and would be most helpful if considered before a sudden, totally\nunexpected death. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since each life and death are unique, the points presented will\nneed to be applied in the best way for each person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The points are written in first person to help create a\nmindset for more earnestly applying them:  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A. Contact one (or more) of my dear spiritual friends to let them know what is happening and that my end of life may be near.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

B. Reflect on the environment in which I would like to die<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Make a list of who I would\nlike to be with me as I die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Accept that it might be better\nfor certain people to not be present, since they may disturb my dying \u2013 exclude\nthem without any feelings of hatred, anger, or resentment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Request a quiet space in which\nI can read, pray, and meditate \u2013 and not have a lot of people coming through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Request, if possible, that the\nspace have a window to feel uplifted in being able to look outside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Have an iPhone, iPad or\nMacBook at hand to be able to listen to recordings of spiritual teachings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Request strongly that the TV\nnot be on, if I need to die in a hospital or hospice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

C. Create a file for my family (and\/or designated others if needed), with all the information that they will need about me upon my dying. Include<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Bank account details (plus PIN\nnumbers or passwords)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Birth certificate<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Credit cards<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Enduring power of attorney<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Insurance policies<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Investment details<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Key to safe deposit box, and\nlocation of box<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. List (or photos) of valuables\nand their worth<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Living will<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10. Medical directives<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11. Passport details<\/p>\n\n\n\n

12. People to be notified<\/p>\n\n\n\n

13. Pre-paid funeral plan<\/p>\n\n\n\n

14. Property deeds<\/p>\n\n\n\n

15. Specific requests not in will<\/p>\n\n\n\n

16. Will<\/p>\n\n\n\n

D. Write letters of forgiveness, and saying goodbye.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Contact people, if needed,\nwith whom I have unfinished emotional business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Realize that unresolved issues\nmay drag me down during my dying, or distract me in the form of regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Write to someone, if I don\u2019t\nfeel comfortable talking to them. Do so without expectation. For example, don\u2019t\nexpect to heal deep emotional wounds before dying. Nevertheless, realize that I\nmay need to seek forgiveness and have complete peace from my end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Let me express my feelings in\na spirit of reconciliation, and then let any matter go. Remember that I cannot\nbe responsible for what other people do. The idea is to lighten my own load.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

E. Consider sending appreciation letters to those who have touched my life.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Let them know how they helped\nme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. If someone I know is seriously\nill or dying, sharing my heart can benefit both them and me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

F. Realize that writing either letters of forgiveness, or letters of appreciation, is not always easy.<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. If it is difficult, write the\nletter, then send it when it feels right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Sometimes, just writing the\nletter helps, even if it is never sent. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Don\u2019t focus too much on myself\n\u2013 think about others. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

G. Understand an additional deeper purpose of writing these letters \u2013 they can teach me how to live without painful emotional suffering now. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. I may now find myself better relating\nto people every day as if this was my last day, treating them with more\nkindness and respect. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. It can help me to live in a\nreconciliatory way so that I can die feeling reconciled with life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Remember that writing these\nletters doesn\u2019t mean that I have to make everyone like me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. It means that I can free\nmyself of emotional baggage before I die, and ease my journey into the beyond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

H. Write my own eulogy and obituary.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Ponder the idea that writing\nmy own eulogy and obituary can be a powerful contemplation to remind me of\nimpermanence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. As with many death-related\nexercises, realize that this one can bring me more fully to life \u2013 it will help\nme appreciate the preciousness of what I have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Leave my eulogy and obituary\nin my special file for the family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Realize that what I write\ncould help others in writing my official obituary, or their own eulogies to\ncommemorate my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I. Include the following details in my obituary<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Age<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Place of birth<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Cause of death (if it is known\nor suspected beforehand)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Occupation<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Education degree(s)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. Organizational membership(s)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. Any outstanding\naccomplishments<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. Names of survivor(s) in the\nimmediate family<\/p>\n\n\n\n

9. Names of any memorials set up\nin lieu of flowers<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J. Contemplate the following questions for my eulogy<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. How would I like to be\nremembered? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. What life experiences will I\nalways treasure?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. What am I proud of?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

K. Now write my eulogy with these guidelines<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. I will be remembered for . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. What do I value about myself?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. How have I impacted the world?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Who has been the closest to\nme?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. What adjectives best describe\nme?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6. What has been most worthwhile\nin my life?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7. What has given me purpose and\nmeaning?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8. My treasured life experiences\nare . . .<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L. Consider using my obituary and eulogy, before I die, as follows<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Read my obituary and eulogy\nevery year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Notice how things shift in my\nlife, which is another reflection on impermanence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Place my obituary in a drawer\nfrequently opened, and use it as a reminder of my inevitable death.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Source<\/strong>: Holecek, Andrew. Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition<\/em>. Boston: Shambhala, 2013. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The above information is mainly based on and was drawn from the Appendixes in Preparing to Die<\/em> (pages 311-326).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a PDF copy of the above checklist, please click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Reflection:
Reflection: “We should not think that just because we are young, just because we are healthy now, that we have time. … We must therefore reflect on the fact of death now.” (Anyen Rinpoche)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>\"mail\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The following checklist presents matters to consider in preparation for dying \u2013 and would be most helpful if considered before a sudden, totally unexpected death. 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