{"id":201,"date":"2019-11-15T01:06:28","date_gmt":"2019-11-15T01:06:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/?page_id=201"},"modified":"2020-02-07T17:47:27","modified_gmt":"2020-02-07T07:47:27","slug":"preparing-to-die","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/","title":{"rendered":"[6] Prepared for Death"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cIf we are duly prepared, I can promise that the moment of death will be an experience of rejoicing. If we are not prepared, it will surely be a time of fear and regret.\u201d (~Anyen Rinpoche)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be still prepared for\ndeath\u2014and death or life shall thereby be the sweeter. (~William Shakespeare)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even for spiritual practitioners, death remains a dreaded\nevent. We dread it because we don\u2019t know about it. We do not look forward to\ndeath because we don\u2019t know what to look forward to. For most of us, it\u2019s still\nthe great unknown. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The moment of death, like that of birth, is our time of\ngreatest need. The beginning and the end of life are characterized by\nvulnerability, bewilderment, and rich opportunity. In both cases we are\nstepping into new territory\u2014the world of the living or the world of the dead. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

While guidelines are helpful, they are not meant to restrict\nthe sacred experience of death. The map is never the territory. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though, for example, death and rebirth are described in\nextraordinary detail by the Tibetans, dying is never as tidy as the written\nword. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is important for the dying, and their caregivers, to\nstudy and prepare. But preparation only goes so far. Fixating on the idea of a\n\u201cgood death\u201d can paradoxically prevent one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we think that our death will follow a prescribed order,\nand that perfect preparation leads to a perfect death, we will constrict the\nwonder of a mysterious process. Surrender is more important than control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A good death is defined by a complete openness to whatever\narises. So don\u2019t measure your death against any other, and don\u2019t feel you have\nto die a certain way. Let your life, and your death, be your own. There are\ncertain things in life that we just do our own way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The vast literature about conscious dying is therefore a\nblessing and a curse. At a certain point we have to leap into death with a\nbeginner\u2019s mind and a spirit of adventure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Visions of the perfect death create expectations, a model\nthat we feel we have to match. If experience doesn\u2019t match expectation, we\nmight panic. \u201cThis isn\u2019t how it\u2019s supposed to be,\u201d \u201cI didn\u2019t plan on it ending\nthis way.\u201d Death is about letting go. That includes letting go of any\nexpectations. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The danger in learning too much about death is that we end\nup pre-packaging the experience, forcing reality into the straightjacket of our\nconcepts. The best approach is that of the middle way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Learn as much as you can. Study, practice, and prepare. Then\ndrop everything and let this natural process occur naturally. Throw away the\nmap and fearlessly enter the territory. It\u2019s like preparing for a big trip. We\nwant to pack properly, review our checklists, and ensure we have enough money\nand gas. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when the trip starts we just enjoy it. We don\u2019t worry\nabout doing it perfectly. Some of our greatest travel adventures happen when we\ntake a wrong turn or get lost. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having thoroughly prepared, we relax in knowing we have\neverything we need. Getting out of the way and letting death take its natural course\nis often the best thing to do. Death will always take care of itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Renaissance statesman Montaigne wrote: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Men come and they go and they trot and they dance, and never a word about death. All well and good. Yet when death does come\u2014to them, their wives, their children, their friends\u2014catching them unawares and unprepared, then what storms of passion overwhelm them, what cries, what fury, what despair! . . . To begin depriving death of its greatest advantage over us, let us adopt a way clean contrary to that common one; let us deprive death of its strangeness, let us frequent it, let us get used to it; let us have nothing more often in mind than death. . . . We do not know where death awaits us: so let us wait for it everywhere. To practice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.” (Michel de Montaigne, The Essays of Michel de Montaigne<\/em>, translated and edited by M. A. Screech (London: Allen Lane, 1991), 95.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Death is so inconvenient. But being unprepared is even more\ninconvenient.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If one is unprepared, dealing with the details and intensity\nof death\u2014the emotional impact, preparing for the funeral, handling friends and\nloved ones, dealing with medical and legal issues\u2014is like preparing for a big wedding\nin one day. It\u2019s overwhelming. If you deal with some of the details now you can\nrelax at the time of death, and relaxation is the best instruction for how to\ndie. Relaxation is born from familiarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Source: Holecek, Andrew. Preparing to Die: Practical\nAdvice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition<\/em>. Boston:\nShambhala, 2013. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The above information was excerpted and formatted from the Introduction to Preparing to Die<\/em> (pp. 3-11).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For a PDF copy of the above text, click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Reflecting
Reflection: “Although the best time to read and reflect on death is before we have to face it — preferably a long time beforehand — few people do so.” (Lama Shenpen Hookham)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\"Facebook\"<\/a>\"twitter\"<\/a>\"reddit\"<\/a>\"pinterest\"<\/a>\"linkedin\"<\/a>\"mail\"<\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cIf we are duly prepared, I can promise that the moment of death will be an experience of rejoicing. If we are not prepared, it will surely be a time of fear and regret.\u201d (~Anyen Rinpoche) Be still prepared for …<\/span> Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"spay_email":""},"yoast_head":"\n[6] Prepared for Death - End-of-Life Reflections<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"[6] Prepared for Death - End-of-Life Reflections\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201cIf we are duly prepared, I can promise that the moment of death will be an experience of rejoicing. If we are not prepared, it will surely be a time of fear and regret.\u201d (~Anyen Rinpoche) Be still prepared for … Continue reading →\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"End-of-Life Reflections\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-02-07T07:47:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Reflecting-on-the-Need-to-Prepare-for-Death-1024x768.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/\",\"name\":\"End-of-Life Reflections\",\"description\":\"Reflections on dying and death from a Buddhist view\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#primaryimage\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Reflecting-on-the-Need-to-Prepare-for-Death-1024x768.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Reflecting-on-the-Need-to-Prepare-for-Death-1024x768.jpg\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/\",\"name\":\"[6] Prepared for Death - End-of-Life Reflections\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2019-11-15T01:06:28+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-02-07T07:47:27+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"[6] Prepared for Death\"}]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"[6] Prepared for Death - End-of-Life Reflections","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"[6] Prepared for Death - End-of-Life Reflections","og_description":"\u201cIf we are duly prepared, I can promise that the moment of death will be an experience of rejoicing. If we are not prepared, it will surely be a time of fear and regret.\u201d (~Anyen Rinpoche) Be still prepared for … Continue reading →","og_url":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/","og_site_name":"End-of-Life Reflections","article_modified_time":"2020-02-07T07:47:27+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Reflecting-on-the-Need-to-Prepare-for-Death-1024x768.jpg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/","name":"End-of-Life Reflections","description":"Reflections on dying and death from a Buddhist view","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#primaryimage","inLanguage":"en-US","url":"http:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Reflecting-on-the-Need-to-Prepare-for-Death-1024x768.jpg","contentUrl":"http:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Reflecting-on-the-Need-to-Prepare-for-Death-1024x768.jpg"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/","name":"[6] Prepared for Death - End-of-Life Reflections","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2019-11-15T01:06:28+00:00","dateModified":"2020-02-07T07:47:27+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/preparing-to-die\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"[6] Prepared for Death"}]}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/201"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=201"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/201\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1515,"href":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/201\/revisions\/1515"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dying-and-death-reflections.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}